Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
