Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize