Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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