so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
