Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
