You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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