Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
