We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
