I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
