by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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