I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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