quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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