i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize