I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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