Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
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Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
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I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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