Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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