Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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