she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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