well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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