She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
