i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
