I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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