this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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