If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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