theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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