your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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