you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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