There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It's Friday. Sex?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
