There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
