How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Sober January is a disaster.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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