you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
