hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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