All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am spending my child support on dildos
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
