What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
