remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize