I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
