You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
