i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We need to get me chipped asap
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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