Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
