belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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