I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
