Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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