Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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