Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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