We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
