and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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