It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
