My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
