so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
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In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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