We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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