haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
