my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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