he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
