Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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