I hate all girls vehemently.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
