I wanna bring you to show and tell
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
